Midnight Sun

Home. Sweet.

Before I give any final thoughts I MUST, MUST, convey how grateful, thankful, blessed, and just damn lucky I am to be married to Tony Pender. A simple statement last summer that I might like to go to this conference for few days IF we could afford it turned into the most incredible experience of my life. He does not "complete me;" he gives me the ability to see that, despite my quirks (!) I am already complete and whole just as I am. I struggled with what to bring him back as a souvenier, and my friend Gail made me realize that I didn't have to bring him anything, that coming back how I am now and with what I feel now is all he wants for me. He's awesome. (I did get him a tee-shirt, though. :))))


Okay... what will my final thoughts be? Don't know if there will be "final" thoughts or if there can be. What I learned from the conference about writing, about myself, about focus and vision will be thought about forever. There was a little switch in my head before Valdez that put just enough doubt in my head to thwart me at the worst times, and the best times. There was just enough fear to stop mefrom writing and blaming it on a block. That's not to say writers don't get writer's block. For me, it usually comes I don't know how craft wise to fix what's not working, or when I'm afraid to write what's coming because I know it will challenge me, or frighten me. That switch was flipped in Valdez. It wasn't anything specific that anyone said or did, but I don't seem to have that fear anymore, and frankly am looking forward to writing and facing head on what's coming.

Rita was there. I didn't actually see her, but felt her presence many times. Several of the college staff who remembered her came to me many times to make sure I was having a good experience. And there was Gail. Gail's husband also died last year, soon after he came back from Valdez, so she and I bonded in a very special way. Her quest was to find out what transformed her husband; he came back different, just like Rita did. Just like me. I think she found that answer, and she found out many things about herself, too.

The staff of the Prince William Sound Community College is wonderful. They have such enthusiasm, and every crisis was met with calmness and cheerful resolution. You KNOW that they were sick of us by the time we left, but never once did they show it. There could have been more writing workshops, and perhaps fewer plays (100 short plays is just too many, I think). Consecutive Master Classes would be better than concurent, so that I wouldn't have to choose between the Marian Seldes acting class and the Edward Albee writing class (would have LOVED to go to her class, but Edward....) One long play a day would be better than 2, for us and for the panelists. One night free from activity would have been appreciated just so everyone could catch their breath and absorb some during the conference. All of these things will go in a letter to the staff.

All the writer's notes have already been posted, and I don't think anything major happened outside what I wrote that would be worth noting. I never got confirmation that any of the big playwrights would take/read scripts, but I don't think I would have done that anyway. That's not what they were there for and I think it would have been rude. I'm sure some people tried even so. I had fun with John Guare, we always laughed and joked when I spoke to him. We even joked once about leaving our spouses for each other, he'd be great to just sit and have a beer with. Romulus Linney is more reserved but very friendly and I ended up walking with him for about 10 minutes downtown and we talked about one of his plays that I'd picked up at the conference. So smart, very direct, but approachable. A glass of wine and a nice conversation would be great with him. Albee was on a different plane, no one ever really approached him without something to sign, or unless he was talking to someone else and you happened to be around and could join in. Very dry sense of humor, but very aware of his place and expects you to be aware of it, too. Lloyd Richards. Legened. What else is there to say? So sweet and unassuming, and his mind is like a steel trap, he misses nothing. And Tony Kushner was amazing. Every speech was funny and irreverent and powerful and passionate, just as you'd imagine. Speaking to him one-on-one you forget who he is, he immediately puts you at ease. He always grabbed and held my hand when we talked.

I was on the last plane out of Valdez yesterday and so most all the big guys were on the same plane; Kushner, Linney, Guare, Marian Seldes, Patricia Neal, Joel Vig (from Hairspray), Lawrence Saccharow (Director), Mel Gussow from the NY Times. So as we're all landing in Anchorage getting our connecting information, Tony is talking to (?)someone, and I'm talking to an actor I met at the conference. Tony's conversation ends, and he walks up to ME to say goodbye. Again, Un-real. He had made a statement the day before (can't remember if I posted this) when asked about the lack of women on the panel of judges, saying that wasn't the problem for him. The lack of minorities, of African-Americans or ANY minority was the travesty. (And among attendees, too. African Americans broke down to 5 female playwrights, 1 male playwright, 2 female and one male actor.) So at the airport I thanked him for what he said. I said, "I know that isn't your cause but thank you for the attention you'll bring to it." He said it was his cause, that every cause should be everyone's cause. I said, "yes, but you can only bring so much attention to it. It has to be my cause, African American writers, Asian writers, Hispanic writers have to write with the same passion you do, whether it's political or not, and break down those barriers." I told him again that I'd like to send him an email through the college and he said absolutely, so we'll see. Then he hugged me and left.

So I left the land of the Midnight Sun. That's my favorite song of all time. Ella Fitzgerald, from the Johnny Mercer Songbook. Lovely. And I had my martini at the airport bar. And I took my Xanax. And I had my Bloody Mary on the plane. And I slept the whole flight. And came home. Sweet.